If You Have a Rising Senior, I Was You Two Summers Ago

The Advisor No One Told You to Be

If you are the parent of a rising high school senior, I was sitting exactly where you are two summers ago. I know that knot in your stomach. I also know something you might not: unless you want to spend $10,000 or more on a private counselor, the person most responsible for guiding your child through college admissions is probably you, whether you planned for it or not.

I say this having been through the process twice, from very different angles.

My daughter attended our local public high school. Her guidance counselor was wonderful, but had close to 100 students to shepherd through the college process. Specialized, individualized support simply was not in the cards. So, I stepped in. My daughter had the grades, the test scores, and the experiences that made her a genuine candidate for highly selective schools. After touring several Ivies, she had no interest in them. She ultimately committed to an early decision at one of those absurdly low-acceptance-rate southern private universities. Months later, when the financial aid package arrived, she made a clear-eyed decision and switched to a southern flagship school. Best decision of her life. But that is a story for another post.

My son is six years younger than his sister. He attended an exclusive boarding school where the college counselor informed us that she would begin advising him in October of senior year. Having already lived through the intensifying competitiveness of the southern flagship admissions cycle, I knew that October was far too late. So, I stepped in again.

My Son’s Story: Why Holistic Really Matters

My son had fallen in love with his sister’s world. Tailgating. Championship football. The whole atmosphere. So, his list was populated almost entirely with the “it” schools that have been dominating college admissions conversations since COVID: UNC Chapel Hill, Clemson, University of Maryland College Park, University of Florida, University of Tennessee, Georgia Tech, University of Georgia, Auburn, and similar schools.

Worth a read if you haven’t seen it: Sorry, Harvard. Everyone Wants to Go to College in the South Now, click here:

Worth a read if you haven’t seen it: Sorry Harvard, Everyone Wants to Go to College in the South Now

Here is the complication. His freshman and sophomore grades were good, not great. After transferring to a private school, his grades became exceptional, but those early years still appeared on his transcript. His test scores were mediocre, and when the option existed, he applied test-optional. He was applying to engineering programs, which tend to be more selective. On paper, it was an uphill climb.

He did not get into every school on his list. But he got into his first choice, and that is where he is now.

I used to roll my eyes at the phrase “holistic admissions.” I do not anymore. The only reason my son got into the schools he did is because his activities list and his essays were genuinely strong. That part of the application is not window dressing.

The Advice I Gave a Classmate at Yoga Last Week

Before class, a friend pulled me aside. Her daughter had her heart set on several of the same southern flagship schools, particularly the one my daughter graduated from, which, for an out-of-state student, is almost impossible to get into. She asked if I had any advice on increasing her daughter’s chances.

This is what I said. And I think it applies to nearly every family applying to college, regardless of the schools on your list.

Tip 1: Submit the Common App at 12:01 AM on August 1

Many families do not realize that applications open August 1 and that the timing of submission can matter enormously. A Wall Street Journal article published just a few weeks ago reported that some schools are filling more than 65 percent of their incoming classes with early applicants. The early bird genuinely gets the worm.

To Read WSJ: The College-Admissions Chess Game Is More Complicated Than Ever, click here:

WSJ: College Admissions and the Yield Rat

There is also a housing component that does not get enough attention. Several flagship schools do not have enough campus housing for all incoming freshmen. Many assign housing selection slots in the order in which applications are received. At those schools, submitting in the first hours the portal is open can mean the difference between a desirable residence hall and scrambling for off-campus housing as a first-year student.

Have the Common App complete, reviewed, and ready before August 1. Hit send the moment it opens.

Tip 2: Choose Your Recommenders Carefully, Then Give Them a Head Start

Not every teacher who likes your student is the right person to write a recommendation for them. The best recommenders are those who can speak specifically to your student’s character, curiosity, or growth, not just confirm that they earned a good grade.

Think about which teachers have genuinely seen your student in action. The one who watched them work through a hard problem and not give up. The one who saw them help a classmate without being asked. The one who assigned a project that revealed something real about your student. A recommendation from a teacher who can tell a specific story is worth far more than one from a well-known teacher who barely remembers your student’s name.

If your student has a genuine relationship with a coach, employer, mentor, or community leader, a supplemental recommendation from that person can add a meaningful dimension, particularly if it highlights qualities that academic letters cannot.

Once you have identified the right people, reach out early. Your teachers and guidance counselors deserve a summer, too. If your student plans to submit on August 1, let recommenders know now, before school lets out. Ask whether an early July deadline works for their letters. Be gracious and specific: share the list of schools, a copy of the activities list, and anything the student hopes the letter might address. A well-prepared recommender writes a far stronger letter than one who is working from memory in August.

Tip 3: Take the Activities List Seriously

This is one of the most underestimated sections of the application, and it is one place where students who were not three-sport varsity captains can genuinely stand out.

My son was never a team captain. But he organized and ran pre-season early morning workouts for one of his varsity sports. His write-up focused on what he was trying to accomplish: teaching teammates about preparation and teamwork. He quantified the hours. He gave it context.

He also listed the summers he spent helping a family friend on her farm. He did it out of genuine friendship, not for a resume line. But it was still meaningful, sustained volunteer work, and it belonged on that list.

Sit down with your student and think expansively. What do they do that no one requires them to do? What recurring commitments, informal roles, or self-directed pursuits tell the admissions committee something about who they are? Write those down and build the entries carefully.

Tip 5: Know the School Before You Write a Word of the Supplemental Essays

Most selective schools require supplemental essays in addition to the Common App personal statement. These are not afterthoughts. They are the school’s way of asking: why us, specifically, and are you actually the kind of student we are looking for?

The worst supplemental essays are the generic ones, the ones that could have been written for any school on the list. Admissions officers read thousands of them and can spot a recycled essay immediately. The best supplementals demonstrate that your student has done real homework.

Before your student writes a single word, have them spend time genuinely getting to know each school. What academic programs, research opportunities, or unique offerings align with what they want to study? What does the school say, in its own words, about the kind of student it is looking for? What are the values it emphasizes in its mission and culture? Many schools publish information about their student body, their academic philosophy, and what distinguishes their community. Use it.

If the school offers demonstrated-interest visits or information sessions, those experiences can give your student authentic, specific material to draw from. An essay that references a conversation with a professor, a particular lab or program, or something your student noticed during a campus visit tells the admissions committee that this school is a genuine first choice, not just a name on a list.

The supplemental essay is not the place to repeat the personal statement or list accomplishments. It is the place to show that your student understands who the school is looking for and can make a credible case that they are that person.

Tip 6: Watch the College Essay Guy — Together

I cannot recommend this enough. The College Essay Guy has a YouTube channel with free, genuinely excellent guidance on how to approach the personal statement and supplemental essays. His framework helped my son understand what admissions officers are actually looking for, which is not a highlight reel but a window into how a student thinks and what matters to them.

My specific suggestion: watch the videos alongside your student. Not to take over the process, but so that if they ask you to read a draft, you understand the assignment they were responding to.

A friend of my son’s asked me to read a supplemental essay for a school that, in essence, asked what he had learned through playing sports. The essay I received was a chronological list of every sport he had played since childhood. That was not what the question asked. I sent him back with a different task: make a list of what each sport taught him at each stage of his life, then find the one story that best illustrates the lesson. He came back a few days later. I helped him narrow it down and sent him on his way to write it himself. I never saw the final draft. But after he was accepted to his first-choice school, he sought me out to say that he had applied the same thinking to his Common App essay and believed it made a real difference. I am not an English teacher. Everything I showed him came from those YouTube videos.

For the record, I have not received any consideration for recommending the College Essay Guy.

Proof That It Works

My son had a mediocre standardized test score and chose to apply test-optional. His freshman and sophomore transcripts had soft spots that followed him to every application. He was competing for spots in engineering programs at schools whose out-of-state acceptance rates shrink every year.

He also submitted his application at 12:01 AM on August 1. His activities list told a genuine story about who he is, not just the awards he won or the positions he held. His essays answered the actual questions. And he kept an open mind, applying to several schools rather than betting everything on one.

He was accepted to his first-choice school in the second week of October. We were standing on the sidelines of a varsity soccer game when his phone dinged. He opened the email to find that he had been accepted into the engineering program as his first-choice school. We happened to be standing next to one of the teachers who had written one of his recommendations for him.  The teacher had retired the year before but came back to watch the game. My son excitedly turned to the teacher and yelled, “I got in!”  The teacher laughed and said, “Must have been my recommendation.”

That weekend, he flew down to visit the school with a friend. During the visit, he met a member of the school’s board of trustees. The member congratulated him and asked about his SAT score, assuming it must have been nearly perfect for an out-of-state student to get in so early. When my son said he had applied test-optional, the member replied: “You must have had one hell of an essay.”

To say the remainder of his senior year was stress-free is an understatement.

The process does not have to be a year of anxiety. Start now, follow the steps, and give your student the best possible conditions to let who they actually are come through on their application.

A Final Thought

Most school counselors, even excellent ones, are managing far too many students to give yours the focused attention this process deserves. That is not a criticism; it is a reality. The families who come out of this process with the best outcomes are almost always those in which someone stepped up to fill that gap.

You do not need a background in college advising. You do not need to be a strong writer. You need to start now, stay organized, and be willing to watch a few YouTube videos along the way.

You already know more than you think. And you have exactly the right amount of time, if you use it.

A side note on the relationship between SAT scores and college success. My son finished his freshman year with a 3.9 gpa.

— Michele